TOM BALL, Senior Editor (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Globetrotting Tom Ball has been chased out of more countries than he can remember visiting. A fugitive on the lam with an archaeology degree, he spends his days hiding under rocks writing fiction and other junk for his devoted readers here on Earth and also Mars. His real name is Tom Ball. He stills resides in the body he was born in. Tom has the final say on who gets published so you know what name to give the hit man if you don’t.
CHARLES PINCH, Senior Editor (email@example.com)
You just know any dude whose name is a noun and a verb will end up being an editor at some literary hell hole. Writing before he was walking, editing before he was talking, Charles sees himself as an infant prodigy. Other people just see him as an infant. He holds in one of his three hands a double major in fine arts and philosophy and has published all kinds of fiction and other crap you better f***ing read if you want to get published here.
RICHARD WANG, Junior Editor (firstname.lastname@example.org
Richard is a polymath who makes the rest of us feel inferior which explains why we're all in therapy. He has authored graphic novels, directs films (his own and others) while trying to remember he's also an engineer and speaks a couple languages none of us understand. At this moment he's drafting his Nobel Prize acceptance speech on a napkin. Oh yeah, he's also a napkin designer.
ROBERT QUEHL, Junior Editor (email@example.com)
Rob is the voice of sanity which is why the rest of us have trouble comprehending him. Rob is the rock on the shore who steadfastly watches us drown after warning us we can’t swim. (Hey Rob! Help!) Rob is the light in the room after the bulb kicks out. Rob is the author of a couple of books and has a perverse love for working full time as an editor.
STEVE HANDS, Junior Editor (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Hands down, Steve is the most cosmopolitan of our dude-sextet. He has travelled extensively while avoiding the law and is the former publisher of Lizard magazine (Thailand). As you can see, Steve’s love of reptiles has strongly influenced his writing. He does most of his composing in a well-stocked terrarium, cavorting with the other cold-bloods. He currently lives in Britain which is why it’s Great!
HEZEKIAH SCRETCH, Poetry Editor (email@example.com)
Poetry editor Hezekiah comes with a wealth of experience gained from panhandling. When he isn’t hexing ammeters, he’s writing blank verse, which, despite his efforts turns out to be pretty much blank. A devout misogynist who failed spectacularly at charm school, he despises formal education, the likes of which granted him a PhD in comparative lit. Is he Man or Myth? Mandrake or Mephistophles?
ISSUE 5 JANUARY 2020
“Memes are forever in search of their own sound bite.” Hezekiah Scretch (Poetry Editor)
Welcome to Fleas on the Dog. We’re a no frills, brown bag lit rag with only one focus: GOOD WRITING. Our style is ‘HOTS!’—hands off the submissions! We publish every submission exactly as received, so there might be arbitrary spacing and pagination. What you won’t find are pretty pictures and fancy layouts. We like this ‘broadsheet’ deconstructionist approach inspired by the Beat presses and journals because it visually footprints the individual in a way a uniform format does not. We hope you like it too. (In some cases with poetry, Hezekiah’s intro will be found at the bottom not the top of the page.)
We’ve just recently stumbled upon a couple new trends as we peruse the lit site landscape. Fact checks and sensitivity editors! Fact what? Sensitivity who? What is this? Police procedural or some kind of therapy we don’t want any part of (and wouldn’t work anyway given our rap sheets)? You write. We publish. Everybody reads. If it gets any more complicated than this we’re closing down and moving to Hug Rabbit, Nova Scotia. And what about ‘theme’ issues? Nope. Nada. Niente. That would be like asking Bukowski to write feminist poetry or Plath to pen Pokeman scripts. As a writer, you don’t need to pick a theme out of a box, or worse, be given one. Great writing comes from inside not outside. And if you have enough artistic integrity to be really in touch with yourself as a writer and a person, as a being in space/time, there is always something to write about. The lamp is in your heart. The switch is in your brain. Turn it on.
Poetry isn’t limited to the ivory tower or the classroom. The poets we publish in this issue come from all walks and talks of life. Award winners, teachers, migrants, activists, refugees, housewives, a janitor, a gym rat and a former phlebotomist among many others. And this is because poetry belongs to no group, no one demographic: the seed is scattered wide and the call to write is democratic. Poetry is our celebration of touching the best in our spirits, and without it, even the best of lives is diminished.
Post-modernism introduced subjectivity into the reportage arena, and since Hunter S. Thompson, Norman Mailer and Tom Wolfe, it embraces everything from guts to gonzo. The examples of CNF we publish in this issue all owe something to the PM spin. Just as in quantum theory, where the observer influences the experiment, so in CNF the writer IS the experience.
We’re just six crazy dudes who love the language and fall on our knees at the sound of beautiful words in all their glorious reach and transformative power. At FOTD we share that with each submission we publish, each different from the other, some styles and miles apart, but always burning. Nisi optimum et clarissimum. So remember what the dormouse said. Feed your head! Feed your Head! (Apologies to Grace Slick, White Rabbit).
Four authors are making their publishing debut in Issue 5. Congratulations to Mathew Mendonca, Miguel Rodriguez and Ayaan Elokobi (Poetry) and Donnia Harrington (first time in a lit mag-nonfiction).
And among our roster of veteran writers we are honoured to feature Chautauqua 2017 Editors Prize, 2016 Fulton Prize (short story), 2015 Art Prize for CNF winner Robert D. Kirvel, (nonfiction). Benjamin Franklin Poetry Award, Eric Hoffer/Montaigne Award winner and 2 x Pulitzer and 7x Pushcart nominee John Guzlowski (poetry). Best Small Fiction nominee Mir-Yashar Seyedbagheri(poetry). Grand prize for poetry winner from Oneswan (2007) Susandale (poetry).Best of the Net and 2x Pushcart nominee Emily Strauss (poetry). Pushcart nominee Richard Stuecker(nonfiction). Academy of American Poets Prize winner Christopher Moylan (fiction). Acceptance in 2018 Arts Mid-Hudson exhibit ‘Artists Respond to Poetry’ Ted Millar (poetry). 2009 Francis Locke Poetry Award winner from Bitter Oleander, 2012 winner of Thin Air CNF Award and National Endowment for the Arts recipient Rich Ives (fiction). 2016 Pushcart nominee Linda Boroff (fiction). Six stories archived in Yale University’s Beinecke Collection, Long Island International Film Expo, Global Shorts and the Madrid International Film Festival winner Gregory Cioffi (fiction).Former fiction editor of The Sand Hill Review and Pushcart nominee James Hanna (fiction). Verbsap Burning Books contest winner Jon Fain (fiction). Joseph Jefferson Award winner Ed Cunningham (play). Dorothy Silver Award winner and 2019 William Faulkner Literary Competition for One Act Play Award winner Judy Klass(play). 2017 Lorien Prize winner from Thought Crime Press and 2015 Press Americana Prize for Poetry winner Howie Good (fiction). 2017 Carl Sandburg Writer in Residence (North Carolina) John Michael Flynn (fiction). 2007 Dartmouth Award Winner (editor) Fred Skolnik (Fred Russell) (fiction) and 2011, 2013 and 2018 Pushcart nominee Brad Garber (poetry, fiction).
This is our biggest issue yet—full of sound and fury, signifying talent! We hope you enjoy it. And until we meet again in Issue 6, always spread the love and remember READ is the best four letter word in the world.
Tom, Charles, Richard, Robert, Steve and Hezekiah
We are a collective of writers/editors who publish a non profit online magazine for those who are on the avant garde and outside the box.
WHAT WE LIKE
Fiction: We take pretty much everything. Mainstream, traditional, literary, barbaric yawps, flash, metafiction, experimental, sci/fi, speculative, fantasy, mystery, micro, nano, grunge, bad (but it better be good!), modernist, post-modernist, spamlit, kitschlit, retro, metro, outsider, novel excerpts, graphic stories, even comics. Our only criterion is quality.
Poetry: Up to ten poems any style.
Plays: Any style up to five acts. Screenplays: any subject, any length.
Nonfiction: Kick ass op-eds, essays and articles on topical topics that are sure to p*** somebody off, memoirs, manifestos, reviews, games, nonsense and other cogent junk. Politically incorrect is welcome as long as it doesn’t devolve into invective.
WHO YOU ARE
Anybody whose engines burn when they write. You can have won literary awards or never published at all. Degrees don’t impress us—it’s your work that matters.
ONLINE PUBLISHING GUIDELINES There is no submission fee. There is no remuneration for work we publish, either, but what the heck, you're going to be famous! We'll get back to you in about 10 days, hopefully sooner. (Why should it take weeks?)
Fiction/Nonfiction: Up to 5000 words. Length is less important than quality. For works longer than 5000 words query the editors about possible serialization.
Submissions should be on a Microsoft Word doc or docx file. Use a sensible font. Double space format. Stuff like grammar and sentence structure is important unless your work deliberately exploits bad grammar and lack of structure. (We can tell the difference.) Include a brief bio with your submission and publishing credits, if any. Send your submission as an e-mail attachment to firstname.lastname@example.org (or type in the link in the email address).
Include the genre (fiction, nonfiction, poetry, or play) and title of your work in the subject bar. Simultaneous submissions are okay, just let us know when your work is accepted elsewhere. Multiple submissions are not okay unless solicited. Submit to only one category per issue. If you have been published by us please do not resubmit for six months unless solicited. We retain the first rights of your work for a period of three months. After this time rights revert back to the author. If you should republish the story/article please acknowledge that it was first published by www.fleasonthedog.com
TO BE ANNOUNCED
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