TOM BALL, Senior Editor (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Globetrotting Tom Ball has been chased out of more countries than he can remember visiting. A fugitive on the lam with an archaeology degree, he spends his days hiding under rocks writing fiction and other junk for his devoted readers here on Earth and also Mars. His real name is Tom Ball. He stills resides in the body he was born in. Tom has the final say on who gets published so you know what name to give the hit man if you don’t.
CHARLES PINCH, Senior Editor (email@example.com)
You just know any dude whose name is a noun and a verb will end up being an editor at some literary hell hole. Writing before he was walking, editing before he was talking, Charles sees himself as an infant prodigy. Other people just see him as an infant. He holds in one of his three hands a double major in fine arts and philosophy and has published all kinds of fiction and other crap you better f***ing read if you want to get published here.
RICHARD WANG, Junior Editor (firstname.lastname@example.org
Richard is a polymath who makes the rest of us feel inferior which explains why we're all in therapy. He has authored graphic novels, directs films (his own and others) while trying to remember he's also an engineer and speaks a couple languages none of us understand. At this moment he's drafting his Nobel Prize acceptance speech on a napkin. Oh yeah, he's also a napkin designer.
ROBERT QUEHL, Junior Editor (email@example.com)
Rob is the voice of sanity which is why the rest of us have trouble comprehending him. Rob is the rock on the shore who steadfastly watches us drown after warning us we can’t swim. (Hey Rob! Help!) Rob is the light in the room after the bulb kicks out. Rob is the author of a couple of books and has a perverse love for working full time as an editor.
STEVE HANDS, Junior Editor (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Hands down, Steve is the most cosmopolitan of our dude-sextet. He has travelled extensively while avoiding the law and is the former publisher of Lizard magazine (Thailand). As you can see, Steve’s love of reptiles has strongly influenced his writing. He does most of his composing in a well-stocked terrarium, cavorting with the other cold-bloods. He currently lives in Britain which is why it’s Great!
HEZEKIAH SCRETCH, Poetry Editor (email@example.com)
Poetry editor Hezekiah comes with a wealth of experience gained from panhandling. When he isn’t hexing ammeters, he’s writing blank verse, which, despite his efforts turns out to be pretty much blank. A devout misogynist who failed spectacularly at charm school, he despises formal education, the likes of which granted him a PhD in comparative lit. Is he Man or Myth? Mandrake or Mephistophles?
WELCOME ISSUE 6 MAY 2020
And remember, if your thrall thinks Kafka is a trade agreement it’s time to hit Tinder (or Grindr)…
Welcome to Fleas on the Dog! We’re a no frills brown bag lit rag with only one focus: GOOD WRITING. Our style is ‘HOTS!’—hands off the submissions! We publish every submission exactly as received, so there might be arbitrary spacing and pagination. What you won’t find are pretty pictures and fancy layouts. We like this ‘broadsheet’ deconstructionist approach inspired by the ‘Beat’ presses and journals because it visually footprints the individual in a way a uniform format does not. We hope you like it too. (In some cases with poetry, Hezekiah’s intro will be found at the bottom, not the top of the page.)
It’s been three months since we published our last issue and in that time the world has changed in a way we could never have imagined or predicted. Italy and Spain, with their vibrancy of Latin culture, have fallen under l’angelo della morte. Toronto is a ghost town. New York is on its knees. Deaths in the USA have passed those of the Vietnam War. Infrastructure everywhere is imperiled and culture is quickly becoming a hostage in the pogrom of pandemic. We look around and it is like civilization is closing down. A night of sorts, whose darkness is unfamiliar, descends upon us.
But like Byron, a prisoner in his Castle of Chillon, we can learn heroically from despair and in so doing mobilize those things which are beyond worry, heartache and desperation. Love and Art. That’s what it comes down to and what it will always come down to. Now, more than ever, this is the time we need each other. Stephen King was once asked, ‘What makes a great writer?’ His answer was, ‘A love of the species.’ The best writing ennobles the species and through poetry (and by that we mean all literary endeavour) we find not only a bright abundance of hope, but the salvation that will carry us through. Writers, poets, playwrights, journalists. Defeat is not in our cards. Rise up! Hang fire! WE are the voice! Today is our tomorrow!
It is ironic that social distancing brings an awareness and need for community. Reaching out takes many forms. One of the ways we are doing it—starting with this issue—is WOW! (Writers on Writers!) We’ve invited a number of Fleas alumni authors to guest edit some of our submissions and to tell us each in their own words WHY I LIKE IT. You will find them throughout Fiction, Plays and Nonfiction.
The plays we publish are here because we like them. We were swamped with submissions in this category and though we love theatre, we possess neither the experience nor expertise to parade ourselves as critics. We probably turned down some very excellent scripts simply on the basis of our shining ignorance and for that we apologize.
Six writers are making their debuts in Issue 6. Congratulations to Turner Odorizzi(Fiction), Kevin Barbosa (1stglobal publication,Fiction), Alexander Auclair (Fiction), Fajer Al Zayed(Poetry), Patrick Harig (Fiction) and Amannda Maphies (Nonfiction).
We’re just six crazy dudes who love the language and fall on our knees at the sound of beautiful words in all their glorious reach and transformative power. At FOTD we share that with each submission we publish, each different from the other, some miles and styles apart, but always burning. Nisi optimum et clarissimum. We can’t hold hands but we can sure as sugar touch hearts so, hey, when lockdown get you down—reach out --you’re only a keyboard away!
And now, with great pomp and ceremony, we give you Issue 6. It’s a massive mother but you’ve got three months to read it. And until we meet again in Issue 7 always spread the love and STAY SAFE, or, as we say here in wonderful Canada, the true north strong and Flea, ‘Stay safe, eh!’
Tom, Charles, Richard, Robert, Steve and Hezekia
We are a collective of writers/editors who publish a non profit online magazine for those who are on the avant garde and outside the box.
WHAT WE LIKE
Fiction: We take pretty much everything. Mainstream, traditional, literary, barbaric yawps, flash, metafiction, experimental, sci/fi, speculative, fantasy, mystery, micro, nano, grunge, bad (but it better be good!), modernist, post-modernist, spamlit, kitschlit, retro, metro, outsider, novel excerpts, graphic stories, even comics. Our only criterion is quality.
Poetry: Up to ten poems any style.
Plays: Any style up to five acts. Screenplays: any subject, any length.
Nonfiction: Kick ass op-eds, essays and articles on topical topics that are sure to p*** somebody off, memoirs, manifestos, reviews, games, nonsense and other cogent junk. Politically incorrect is welcome as long as it doesn’t devolve into invective.
WHO YOU ARE
Anybody whose engines burn when they write. You can have won literary awards or never published at all. Degrees don’t impress us—it’s your work that matters.
ONLINE PUBLISHING GUIDELINES
We are now open for submissions, until August 30. There is no submission fee. There is no remuneration for work we publish, either, but what the heck, you're going to be famous! We'll get back to you in about 30 days, hopefully sooner. (Why should it take months?)
Fiction/Nonfiction: Up to 5000 words. Length is less important than quality. For works longer than 5000 words query the editors about possible serialization.
Submissions should be on a Microsoft Word doc or docx file. Use a sensible font. Double space format. Stuff like grammar and sentence structure is important unless your work deliberately exploits bad grammar and lack of structure. (We can tell the difference.) Include a brief bio with your submission and publishing credits, if any. Send your submission as an e-mail attachment to firstname.lastname@example.org (or type in the link in the email address).
Include the genre (fiction, nonfiction, poetry, or play) and title of your work in the subject bar. Simultaneous submissions are okay, just let us know when your work is accepted elsewhere. Multiple submissions are not okay unless solicited. Submit to only one category per issue. If you have been published by us please do not resubmit for six months unless solicited. We retain the first rights of your work for a period of three months. After this time rights revert back to the author. If you should republish the story/article please acknowledge that it was first published by www.fleasonthedog.com
Your support and contributions will enable us to meet our goals and improve conditions. Your generous donation will fund our mission.
We love our customers, so feel free to visit during normal business hours.
Unit 101, 500 Westmount Rd. W., Kitchener, ON N2M 5M9, CANADA
09:00 a.m. – 05:00 p.m.